


Rockabye

by TheMagicMicrobus (CallMeCaptainOrSir)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Adoption, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Character's name spelled as Yuuri, Doubt/Reassurance, Family, Fluffy, Hope, Insecurity, Inspired by Music, It's Quality, Letters, Love, M/M, Mild Angst, Probably ooc, Rockabye by Clean Bandit, Self-Doubt, Sort of In The Middle Of A Series I Haven't Posted Yet???, Sweet Ending, VictUuri, Victuuri Week, parenting, self blame, yuuri prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 06:21:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9644207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallMeCaptainOrSir/pseuds/TheMagicMicrobus
Summary: When Viktor gets home, there's a letter on the front steps. A highly anticipated, much hoped for letter. A letter with multiple lives hanging on it.But now it's here and he isn't sure that he's ready for it.Yuuri knows better.





	

**Author's Note:**

> My entry for Victuuri week, day three! I used the Yuuri prompt, doubt/reassurance.
> 
> Sort of mulitchap? More of an excerpt from a longer fic I haven't posted yet.
> 
> For background, all you'll need to know is that Viktor and Yuuri were the victims of a violent hate crime while living in Russia, and moved to Chicago to recover and figure things out.

Snow swirled through the evening air. It blew through the open front door, piling just inside the sill, only to melt into little puddles. A silver haired man stood, frozen, on the step. An envelope sat delicately in his cupped hands. So small, already growing damp from the warmth of his hands and the melting crystals. Yet, he found himself paralyzed by the few lines of text in the top right corner.

_ Adoption Center of Illinois _

_ 5828 N. Clark Street _

_ Chicago, IL. 60660 _

 

“Viktor? Are you coming inside?”

His husband’s voice broke him out of his trance. Tears glistened in his blue eyes. Yuuri grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. 

“What is it?”

Viktor held out the letter. Yuuri took it, brows drawn together.

One glance at the envelope cleared his confusion. He tore it open quickly and scanned the message. Viktor watched his expression carefully, desperate to know what it said. Now that the initial shock had passed, he was tempted to simply grab it and read it himself.

A grin crept across Yuuri’s face. He threw his arms around Viktor’s neck, the letter still clasp tightly in his hand. The Russian skater wrapped his arms around his Yuuri’s waist.

“I take it Lilya gets to come home soon?”

Yuuri nodded against his chest. “The adoption has been accepted, all we have to do is sign a few more papers and she’s ours. We’re going to be dads.” His voice was soft with awe, as though speaking loudly might shatter the momen.

Viktor’s head was spinning. It felt like when he was standing at the edge of the ice, ready to step out into the sight of a million eyes. Exhilarating, but terrifying. Freeing and yet so very heavy. And suddenly he couldn’t breath. Viktor pulled away, running down the hall to their bedroom.

He shoved the door shut. Breath came quick and shallow.  _ How on Earth does Yuuri work through this feeling? How did  _ I _?  _ The skater fell onto the bed, his head in his hands. 

 

…

 

“Vitya? Can I come in?”

The other skater didn’t respond. Yuuri knew from experience that it was probably safer to risk upsetting his husband that to let him sit alone. Viktor was sitting on their bed, his face pressed into his hands. Yuuri sank down to his knees before him. He set his hands on his knees, unsure. Until recently, their roles had always been reversed. Viktor was always the strong one, the one who talked him down and held him steady. Even when he was scared and in pain himself, the silver haired man always focused on getting Yuuri through it. Bleeding out in a Russian ambulance, or screaming from a nightmare, or just confronting another performance, he put himself aside.  _ How does he do it? How on Earth can I be as selfless as him?  _ Viktor’s body trembled and Yuuri realised with a start that he was sobbing.

Fears forgotten, he pulled the other man tight against his chest. Long fingers curled into the back of his shirt as Viktor clung to him.

“Shhh, Я люблю тебя, у меня есть ты,” he quieted. “Я люблю тебя.” Yuuri knew his accent was terrible, but he tried his best. The silver haired man just shook his head and buried his face in his shoulder.

They sat there until he had cried himself out.

 

… 

 

Yuuri could feel Viktor’s lips move against his neck, straining to hear the murmured words.

“-orry. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Viktor.” The smaller man pulled back just enough to silence his love with a soft kiss. “You don’t have to be sorry.”

He sighed, “But I ruined it.” Viktor smiled, a small watery thing, and it was so wrong that Yuuri wanted to scream. “We’re finally going to have the family we always wanted. And I’m so happy.” He hiccupped, “But I just want to cry.”

Yuuri shifted to sit besides him on their bed.

Viktor didn’t turn to look at him, but he pressed their shoulders together like Yuuri had some pull he couldn’t resist.

“When I first came to coach you, I had no idea what I was doing. I just knew what I wanted. That was enough. I’ve always known what I wanted, and I thought I could figure it out.

But Yuuri, I have no idea what I’m doing.” Viktor’s voice broke, “I was raised by Yakov. My life was the ice.”

His silver head whipped around to face his husband, “What if I do something wrong! I don’t know what a father  _ is _ . It’s not a jump, you can’t just get up and try again!” His voice dropped to a whisper, “What if I hurt her too?”

Yuuri took his face between his hands, “Vitya, you have never hurt me. The only thing I could fault you with is loving me too much. And of course you can try again! You don’t get it right the first time, or the second time, but maybe by the third time she wakes up in the middle of the night, you’ll have some idea of what to do. And the 10th, and the 20th and every time after that you’ll get better at it. Until she can walk and then we’ll be chasing her around and we’ll never have any time alone again, and we’ll get used to it. And we’ll want nothing more than to have her eating out with us on date night, until she’s a teenager. She’ll be just like her big brother Yurio and we’re going to be super embarrassing and she won’t want anything to do with us, but we’re still going to be there. You do get do overs Vitya, and we’ll do it as many times as it takes, until she doesn’t need us to anymore, and we’ll still want to do it for her anyway.”

“I just want her to have it better than I did.” Viktor’s eyes were plaintive. “You’ve already had to deal with things you shouldn’t have because of us. I just want the best for her, for you.”

“You’re my protector, and I’m yours. Together, I know we can protect her, and the best for her is here with us.”

They were both in tears again, but that was okay. And soon their daughter would be in their lives and it would be better.


End file.
